Don't Need A Do Over: The Benefit of Moving On.

In a Land Far Away... Central Newfoundland

Ever make a really hard choice, then realize after you do, that it was the most fantastic thing you've done for yourself in a long time?
And it wasn't a matter of being a quitter, or a failure, or a lazy good-for-nothing. But more like the blinders came off, and for the first time you could see all the chaos, all the unwanted clutter and stress, and how it all really wasn't a good fit from the start?

I've decided to, (brace yourselves), move on from the business of photography. This does not mean I'm stepping away from photography itself, because I love working with a camera, I love exploring, I love producing prints... it means I am no longer going to exhaust myself trying to maintain it as a business. You'll notice I didn't say I was "giving up"... because if my 5 years of determined struggling is any indication, I do not fall into the "quitter" category! Rather, I am aiming for something better, for me personally. Something stripped down, creatively productive, and less intense. 

And it feels right. I'm no longer fighting insomnia. I have time to be a wife again. I have time to invest in others. I'm exercising. It's time to invest in the other parts of me that the insanity of a business blocked me from. And I was trying all the things experts said would succeed, believe me. But sometimes it's just not meant to be. When I look back, even in the last year, I spent too much time thinking I had to be the next Jasmine Star/David DuChemin/Ansel Adams combined. It was what everyone around me was doing, and it was what well meaning fans and friends assumed I could easily pull off just cause I can take a good photo. I tried, and tried, and tried some more! Instead I was resenting the camera, which before brought me joy, and I was avoiding clients, ironic since I'm truly a "people person." And the more I thought about it, the more I realized, "I don't need a do-over! What I need is to move on." 

I've been spending the last while quietly phasing it all out, down to where it's just myself, my images, and a few online communities where I can simply grow as an artist, including getting back to blogging. Will I still do the odd shoot for friends?... if they ask. Will I be opposed to selling the odd print? Never... it'd be a thrill. I still have a few clients to finish the odd project for, I'm not bailing on them either. And I will continue to ramble, gosh darn it! It's just not going to be the giant desperate shadow following me around, threatening to overpower me if I don't look productive, feel competitive, or try to beat the trends before they happen. I'm going to do photography for me.

What will you see on the blog?... real life. Big images and simple snap shots. I do have a personal project or two under wraps. And we'll see what happens. With the pressure off, the joy has returned, new experiences await, and I'm free to expand into new territory that was once just a day dream... that's the benefit of moving on.

I'm done with do-overs. Let's move forward.

Would love to hear your stories of when the decision to move forward was the right one and how you felt... let's get some replies up here!

Have a good one gang, and thanks for the ramble...

Thanks For The Inspiration!

"That All Men May Know His Work"

Gold Mosaic Dome - Royal Ontario Museum

Today's image is dedicated to someone who reminded me last week that no matter what I photograph for a living, lofty perspectives and architecture will always be what excites me the very most, the one thing I can never resist shooting. So much so that this friend, and a band of a few other photographers, now call photographs like the one above the "Duncan shot".

I simply call it "always looking up". My hubby calls it a good way to get a permanent crick in your neck.

So Peter Abbink, this photo is for you today. Your own versions of the "Duncan shot" inspired me to make sure I looked for a lofty perspective this week. And I found it in one of my favorite Toronto locations, the ROM. Can you believe I've never photographed this ceiling yet? That had to be corrected pronto. While on a trip with the family this weekend, I made sure I got a few shots off in your honor.

This is basically straight out of the camera. There was some sharpening to be sure, but I didn't even have to tidy the crop since I used my grid guide in the view finder... and was I ever excited to share it.

What's your approach to photography that's uniquely you? What's your strength, what inspires hands down every time you pick up the camera? Think about, and have a great week gang!

Crazy Days ~ Telephoto Tuesday

"Dandie & Penny Forever"

Things around here have been nuts. Between tax season, approaching weddings, kids getting ready for secondary and post secondary education, working on our house, trying to lose weight, starting a new photography portfolio and attempting to maintain my stats in scrabble (vitally important I know), you can start losing perspective on what's important. Every day feels crazy, or busy, or both.

That is, until you wander through the local cemetery one day with the camera. Suddenly what seemed important and what IS important becomes super clear as you stand surrounded by nothing but graves. Dandie and Penny don't get a second chance to switch perspectives. But we do.

Now I'm not going to go all morbid or mushy on you. But sometimes I'll be honest, I get caught up in the wrong things that vie for my attention either work related or day to day. I'll be keeping this image somewhere close to my work area from now on. It's going to be my reminder to strive for what's most important in my family and my work, and to remember that the fluff, the extras, and the frills are okay but should never hinder the journey.

As we like to say in the photography world (and in all cheesiness), "Let's stay focused!"

I think Dandie and Penny would heartily agree don't you?

Rethinking The Plan ~ Wide Angle Wednesday

"The Long Way Home"

How's your week been? Mine has been one of rethinking. I find it very easy when working for myself to forget my long term goals and start drifting along, content to let things come to me... whether they're really the things I should be pursuing or not. Needless to say, this leads to discovering you're directionless and wondering how you wound up that way in the first place.

I know somebody out there must be able to relate.

So I've been setting aside time once again to pinpoint where I've gotten distracted, where I've veered off course, where I've neglected using my abilities and skills, and what to do about it. I already know I haven't been working hard enough on the right things, and I already know that things I started on a whim need to be abandoned. I need to concede that it's back to picking out the route that best gets me to my ultimate destination (as a certain Canadian photographer would say). You may see changes here on the blog, projects retired before they begin, and whatever else that has to be affected. But that's because detours happen. And then we see our route clearly once more.

Sometimes getting back on track starts with acknowledging what started you on the journey to begin with.

My concrete list of things I love about photography looks like this:

landscapes

city life

great lines

heights

connecting with people

inspiring others

nature

design

perspectives

traveling

instant art

How long has it been since you thought about what's really important to you and what you're passionate about? It'd been awhile for me, so don't fret if you've been feeling the same. Redirect your focus (cough, cough, what? No, that wasn't a photo joke.... ) and find a way to get back to doing what you're called to do. I'm about to do the very same thing myself.

Thanks for the long winded ramble gang! Have a great night!

Conveying Space ~ Mono Monday!

"The Meeting House"

Old Order Mennonite Meeting House, Elmira, Ontario

Another photograph from my recent ramble through St.Jacobs and Elmira, otherwise known as Mennonite country. What do you do when you go hunting for a historic setting, and what you find is relatively flat, open, and almost devoid of character? This was the challenge when we pulled up to this historic and well maintained meeting house... so well maintained that at first glance my first thought was "boring!"

But upon taking a closer look, we realized the entire property held a simplistic significance that needed photographed. There was a pristine beauty and a simple story to be witnessed in the quiet countryside. I just needed to change my definition of great composition. I needed to utilize a tool at my disposal that I hadn't really relied on in a while... and when I did, my perspective corrected itself. Literally and figuratively.

Since no one detail stood out above all others, I chose to rely on the overall sense of space to anchor my composition. Gosh, when was the last time I used space to my advantage in a shot like this? After berating myself for growing lax with such a valuable element of photography, I got to work. The first thing I had to address was the most powerful vantage point from which to shoot from. I quickly decided that the repetitive shapes of the centuries old grave stones could be the element that draws the eye right into the image and up to the meeting house, and the diagonal lines add interest as opposed to aiming past them. This also adds an asymmetrical element and gives a better sense of depth to the shot. Suddenly your eye travels around the rest of the image and back once again to the main subject, shining white and pure in the sun, fitting for such a simple place of worship.

Lastly, I knew I needed to include the sky... and when I saw the clouds angled in perspective with the rest of the scene I knew the sense of space was complete. The combination of each simple element combines into a dynamic shot. After I realised what I had, I knew this would be a B&W photograph no matter what. And taking it into Corel to convert it, reducing the blue channel, pumping up the red channel, and adding some clarifying tool, I quickly had a scene I would not soon forget.

After you locate your subject, an image is never just about that subject anymore. It's then about the best principles of design and compositional approach to emphasize that subject, according to the kind of light you have and the kind of story you want to convey. Space can be a very powerful tool. Let's use it more!

Thanks for the ramble, and have a good one!

Can't See The Forest for the Trees ~ Mono Monday!

"A Whisper Off the Beaten Path"

(1/160 sec.@ F/9, ISO 200, 19mm fl, 18-55 kit zoom, handheld, bright shade)

Still using images this week from my personal challenge. Last week I mentioned tightening my focus. Breaking down the bigger picture I'm usually prone to seeing. Not to say that there's anything wrong with the bigger picture if it speaks to you, and is so powerful it moves you. But sometimes you look back over your shoulder on your artistic journey and realize you're just following the exact same trail over and over with the same results. If growth is your destination, better switch your approach. And the photographer or artist who can recognize that for themselves will find ways to make that happen, and find inspiration along the way.

When I saw today's subject, I knew two things instantly. The first, that the final image would be B&W. There was a bit of sidelight, which enhances texture and outlines shape wonderfully for a mono shot. Second, and more importantly, that the tree alone, was the subject. This is rare for me, since my tendencies run towards using trees to fill out the scene of a landscape. Basically I use them as filler. This time, I got my camera as low as possible under the tree that hangs over onto the trail below. From a few inches off the forest floor I tilted my D80 upwards to stretch the perspective as much as the kit lens would allow. This allowed me to include the root system that runs over and through the bed of karst throughout the trail. In fact, when I return to this spot, I already know I'll try to scootch even closer to the gnarly base and shoot up. For a more extreme perspective. But hey, baby steps right?

(And for those who have asked me to dissect my processing, this image was taken into PSPx2 into the B&W filter, after I did some dodging and burning and the clarify filter applied only to the main tree and karst in a separate layer. Before I flattened the layers I used the eraser tool to reveal the work I did to the tree and rocks without the overall tones in the background changing to ensure the tree stands out nicely the way the side light lit it that afternoon.)

I am still pleased with the result. Dissecting the big picture to see more interesting subjects and details much closer, with better impact, is already paying off. No, it's not as close a shot as the birch bark posted last Thursday... but it's a different kind of subject isolation, for me anyways. Hence the title of the post today! Ignored the forest, and looked only at the trees...

Thanks for the Monday ramble gang! And for journeying along with me as I grow again. And for being so encouraging with your emails and comments and tweets... have a good one! And maybe spend this week finding a way to break out of your routine.

Up and Away ~ Exploration Thursday!

"My Blue Heaven"

(1/125 sec @ F6.3, ISO 160, 28mm fl, 18-55 mm Nikkor kit zoom, pattern metering)

Once in a blue moon I catch myself daydreaming. Sometimes I'm craving traveling to distant destinations, often because I've hit on a case of cabin fever. Sometimes I need a change of pace to get motivated, to be creative when everything begins to feel static. Sometimes I peruse all the lenses I could add to my kit, thinking of all the crazy optical options I still need from all the catalogues and sites. Think of the images I could make then! But, it's only daydreaming, because I know great photography doesn't come from the latest glass or gadget or guru. It comes comes from constant learning and never letting something as material as the next new gizmo take the place of your passion. I've known this simple truth since way back in Mr.Shoveller's high school photography class, where he would walk the classroom, orating that the only real tool you needed to hone was "vision" while he waved the broom handle at you that never left his hand while he taught... (on the off chance he'd need to slap it across a sleeping students desk).

So for this post, I once again have dug deep into my files, but have only just edited this shot this week. So technically, it's new. I simply let my daydreaming inspire me! This is an image taken in London, England. This particular building with it's retro patterns and walls the color of sky sits tucked in behind the Tate Modern (think modern art and design on regal display) ... and unless you take the most round-about path you can possibly find to the Tate, as I did (story of my life), you'd never see it.

For me, I'd always wished I'd a had a more creative, fun lens with me that day. After a while, no matter how cool the buildings are, they can all start looking the same. For ages now I've often thought about fisheye lenses. They give you a sprawling view, but in order for that to happen there's this wonderful circular or spherical distortion to your composition. Alas, money never has grown on trees. And in the interim I've begun to play with similar effects but in my editing program. And suddenly, the sky's the limit!

Now playing and manipulating an image is all well and good, but I'm going to say this; you still need a plan. Going in to this edit I knew what I was wanting to achieve. I knew I wanted the perspective to stretch up and out, I knew I wanted it to feel like it could grow right into the sky, unhindered. It's how it felt when I first saw it shining in the sunlight. I also knew I didn't want it looking so fantastical that it wasn't a believable perspective or shape anymore. With all that in mind, I applied PSPx3's simple perspective distortion tool and used the fisheye fx in the drop down menu. It took some playing with the sliders back and forth till I got a sweeping point of view that still utilized the clouds up in the corner, and didn't so badly distort that it no longer looked like architecture. It wasn't difficult, since I had already shot the composition on this angle anyway. I only enhanced it. Now when I look at it, it feels new and exciting. Found me a creative way to be, well, more creative. And so much better than trying to dig up several hundred dollars for a lens... although it's been ages since I checked the couch cushions. Hmmm...

A simple change, but a dramatic one, and now it's got me daydreaming about new possibilities.

Thanks for the exploratory ramble folks! Have a good one!